the big kahuna: on wednesdays im a PESSIMIST

Today I am pig sick. There are a few varied reasons for this state of my wellbeing.

1. Its sunny and there is surf

2. I have no transportation

3. I am at work

4. I am nearly 40

Unfortunately mother (my local break at Saunton Sands on the north coast of Devon) is producing 2.5 ft of nice clean fun with an offshore wind today. But my usual surf buddies either have to work, or are lesbians. 'So im not going to be able to surf' (that was a Gerry Lopez impression).

I can’t go by myself because I have no car. Have no car because I am waiting for my divorce settlement which is taking tooooooo long. On the upside, I like being divorced.

Yes I am at work. No I am not working. Im writing this blog.

I do not want to be 40. I can’t think of anything worse (except seeing certain females in my department naked). People who are over 40 should be shot. Or rounded up and put on Jersey.

One more thing. A mate was on the one show last night but diddn't turn up to the studio. Ergo he did not give my mobile number to Christine Bleakley and tell her that I was much better looking than that chap with the big ears and rubber lips that she presents with. All because he didd not want to play his saxamaphone with Jamie Oliver on drums. This is a very selfish attitude Raphael. But I forgive you. Its still a bummer though.

Look at these pictures and listen to this music. If you don’t have Spotify, shame on you. You Will probably have never heard of Cathy Battistessa. I can assure you she is very nice, and has a fantastic soul.